by Stephanie Partridge

Emotional abuse is not only hurtful, it attacks and decimates a child's self esteem. It is particularly damaging to the child's sense of self worth and emotional development. A child who endures emotional abuse can experience long term effects that will carry over into adulthood. The most disturbing part of emotional abuse, though, is that it is very difficult to prove or even recognize. It does not leave bruises or visible scars like physical abuse does. However, there are ways to detect emotional child abuse,  and what actions you can take to stop it.

What is Emotional Abuse?

A pattern of behavior directed toward a child by an authority figure in the child's life that attacks his or her emotional wellbeing is emotional abuse. When a parent or authority figure places unreasonable, excessive or impossible demands on the child, uses intimidation and aggressive methods or uses verbal attacks it can be considered emotional abuse. Verbal attacks may include belittling, rejecting, cruel teasing, constant criticism and insulting. In short, any attack that undermines that child's self esteem is child abuse. Emotional abuse can also mean psychological or emotional neglect. When the parent or caregiver denies the child love, guidance or support, they are robbing that child of the ability to experience normal psychological growth and development.

Emotional Abuse vs Physical Abuse

While physical abuse is terrible, emotional abuse may, in some ways, be even more heinous. In fact, many people feel that emotional abuse is worse. With physical abuse, the victim is validated. The scars and bruises are visible. There is tangible evidence that abuse has occurred. However, emotional abuse is not so easily detected. There are no scars, no bruises. There is only a barrage of emotional pain that tears down the child, wrecking his or her psychological well being. Much of the time, the victim of emotional abuse feels that they are to blame, that they somehow caused the abuse. They may even feel that they are "crazy" or that they are in error by feeling that they are being abused. The abuser often contributes to this twisted way of thinking, actually convincing the victim that they "made" the abuser hurt them or that if only they were better, smarter, prettier, whatever, they would not be hurt. The scars run deep, but they are not so easily seen.

Impacts of Emotional Abuse: Immediate and Long Term

The effects of emotional abuse can be devastating and difficult to reverse. The body mends, but when the mind, spirit or psychology is broken, it is a much longer and more difficult road to repair it. Emotional abuse impacts the child's psychological, emotional, social and cognitive development. The effects may appear immediately and plague the child well into adulthood. Those effects can manifest in the child in some heartbreaking ways. Some common problems that may result from emotional abuse include:

• Insecurity
• Social Withdrawal
• Alcohol Abuse
• Poor Self Esteem
• Lack of Confidence
• Destructive Behavior
• Depression
• Anti Social Behavior
• Impaired Development of Basic Skills
• Defiant Behavior Particularly with Authority Figures
• Difficulty in Forming and Maintaining Relationships
• Unstable Job History
• Suicide

These effects may occur in varying degrees, ranging from mild to self destructive. Sometimes, placing the child in a loving, supportive environment can rebuild what the emotional abuse has torn down, but quite often, professional psychiatric care is necessary.

Know the Signs

While emotional abuse does not carry the bruises and scars that are hallmark indicators of typical abuse, there are ways to detect it. The indicators usually depend upon the age of the child, but one of the primary red flags is a child whose behavior is not consistent with his or her age. Some observable indicators of child emotional abuse include:

• Rocking
• Sucking (thumb, fingers, etc) or Biting His or Her Self
• Inappropriate Aggression
• Stealing
• Lying
• Destructive to Other People or to Property
• Sleep Disorders
• Speech Disorders
• Restricts Play Activities or Experiences
• Compulsive
• Obsessive
• Excessive Anger
• Has Phobias
• Hysterical Outbursts

A child's behavior can also be a strong indicator of abuse. Some telling behaviors include:

• Self Destructive
• Withdrawn
• Makes Negative Statements about Himself or Herself
• Overly Aggressive
• Shy or Passive
• Cruel to Animals
• Overly Demanding
• Overly Compliant
• Delay in Physical, Mental and Emotional Development
• Cruel to Others

Family behaviors can also indicate emotional abuse. If you are in a position to observe the family, some red flags to look for are:

• Indifference Toward the Child's Welfare or Problems
• Is Cold Toward the Child
• Rejects the Child
• Blames the Child
• Puts the Child Down
• Call the Child Cruel, Damaging or Inappropriate Names
• Withholds Affection
• Shows Preferential Treatment to Siblings

It is important to keep in mind, however, that isolated incidents do not necessarily indicate abuse. These behaviors can be attributed to traumatic events in the child's life or something that upsets the child. The key factor in determining if the behavior indicates abuse is if there is a pattern of behavior. In that case, the tell tale signs should not be ignored and action should be taken.

Laws and Legislation
There are laws that protect children from abuse. Congress passed the Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act in 1974. The act provides states with financial assistance when they met federal standards. The act also increased the efforts by establishing the National Center for Child Abuse and Neglect. Every state in the country has laws in place that mandate certain professionals must report suspicions of child abuse. Teachers, doctors, counselors and school administrators are among those professionals who are required by law to make a report to a child protective agency when they suspect a child is being abused.

How you can Help
If a child comes to you and reports that they are being abused, proceed carefully so that you can best help the child.

Stay calm. Your first reaction may be to get angry. Don't. Stay calm and try not to let your face register any shock, anger or disgust you may feel on the inside.

Avoid Denial. You may be tempted to deny what they child says, tell them that they must be mistaken. This is a big mistake. If you feel that you are going to deny what the child is telling you, just close your mouth and listen.

Be Reassuring. Give the child a safe place to speak, a place where they are not judges or criticized. Reassure them.

Do not Interrogate. Sit back and let the child talk. Stay away from leading questions or making statements about what happened. Just let them talk and you just listen.

Tell the Child that they did not do Anything Wrong. It is very difficult for a child to step up and tell someone that they have been abused. Let them know that you take what they said seriously and that it is not their fault.

Reporting child abuse can be difficult on a personal level. You may feel that you are "meddling" in someone else's affairs, breaking up a family or disrupting people's lives. However, by reporting suspected child abuse, you are making a difference in the life of a child. Sometimes we have to intervene to stop damaging and destructive behaviors that are being done to people who are weaker or have no voice, no power to stop it. When you step up and take action on behalf of a child in this position, you will not only make a difference in that child's life, you may also touch the lives of all of the people involved.

Child Abuse Hotlines:

If you suspect a child is in immediate danger contact law enforcement as soon as possible.

To get help in the U.S., call:
1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) – Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline
To get help for child sexual abuse, call:
1-888-PREVENT (1-888-773-8368) – Stop It Now
1-800-656-HOPE Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN)

Biography
Stephanie Partridge is a freelance writer and photographer as well as a FOIA analyst for a federal agency in Washington, D.C. She is a single mom to Jeffery, 19; Micah Elizabeth, 17 and Benjamin, 15. She is also the author of the ebook, “Diet is a Dirty Word.”

No part of this article may be copied or reproduced in any form without the express permission of More4Kids Inc © 2009 All Rights Reserved

Child abuse is quickly emerging as a common epidemic around the world. Thousand of children are abused on a daily basis in the United States alone. When looking at this figure on an international basis, the number tops millions. It is your personal responsibility to know and understand what child abuse is, and the signs of child abuse. As a parent, a grandparent, an aunt, an uncle, a friend, relative, and coworker – it should be a priority to make certain that the children are receiving the love, care, and treatment that they deserve!

Child Abuse Defined

There are a number of definitions floating around regarding child abuse. This is a very broad term that can be defined in many different ways. However, the legislation of the United States government has defined child abuse as the act or the failure to perform an act with a child and/or children that ends up resulting in the physical harm to that child, death, sexual violation, emotional burden, and/or exploitation. If an adult places a child at risk for experiencing harm or any of the above situations, that is also considered child abuse. 

Types of Child Abuse

Many individuals do not realize that there are many different types of child abuse, but there are! If you are looking to play a part in preventing child abuse, it is absolutely necessary to ensure that you learn about the different types of child abuse. There is child abuse that is considered to be emotional, medical, physical, sexual, and educational. Below are the specifications and examples of each type of child abuse:

• When a child is the victim of emotional abuse, it means that the child is experiencing behaviors from an adult that hinders the ability of that child to develop appropriately on an emotional level. This type of abuse often occurs with another type of abuse and is extremely detrimental to the child that is experiencing it. The child may have a negative self-image due to the fact that they are often criticized, belittled, threatened, and/or rejected.
• Medical child abuse occurs when a caregiver fails to ensure that the child receives the medical treatment that is necessary to ensure their health. This may include failure to ensure the child is up to date on immunizations, failure to enroll the child in mental health counseling if necessary for their mental well-being, and even not ensuring a child takes medicine that is prescribed for their health.
• Physical abuse is when a child experiences physical injuries of any and every kind. These injuries may result in permanent disfigurement, disability, or even death. Legislation has determined that if a child becomes injured it does not matter if abuse was the intention or not. Examples of this kind of abuse include hitting, biting, shaking, or any other type of physical injury.
• Sexual child abuse consists of many different acts – not just intercourse. This type of child abuse may include exposing a child to sexually suggestive material, fondling, indecent exposure, and many other similar activities.
• Educational child abuse occurs when a caregiver fails to ensure that a child is attending school as deemed appropriate by the laws of the state in which they reside, special education needs are not handled, and a child is not assisted in an educational manner.

Signs of Child Abuse

There are many different signs of child abuse. When reading the above description for the definition of the different types of child abuse, you can get an idea of the signs of child abuse. Listed below are many other signs of child abuse that should be taken into consideration:

• A major sign of child abuse is when a child starts to display behavioral changes. These changes may appear in social settings, such as school and church. Many times, it is accompanied by low academic performance.
• If the child seems to worry consistently, or be extremely cautious in situations, this may be a sign of child abuse. Many children experience a sensation of “impending doom”. A good example of this is when the “over protected” child attends a social function, and actually gets physically ill. This may be a direct result of what type of abuse may happen once they get home.
• Children who tend to withdraw from others and social events may be a victim of child abuse.
• Children who show signs of wanting to stay away from the home may be abused.
• Signs of child abuse may be present in the caregivers of the child as well. Many times, when a child is abused, the parent may appear negative towards the child and show very little general concern to their well-being.
• If you display a parent who is playing blame games with a child and making them feel bad, they may be a victim of child abuse.
• If a parent seems to neglect the child in any form or fashion, that child may be abused.

How to Report Abuse

If you are concerned that a child may be a victim of abuse, it is your personal responsibility to report it immediately. You should contact the national hotline for abuse, your local Department of Children and Families, or visit local authorities. Do not wait until you see an actual piece of evidence for yourself, if the signs are there, do your part!

by Alan Hammond

Child abuse is widespread; an epidemic. Although untold numbers of abused kids are losing their innocence and being forced leave their childhood well before their time, we forget that fact. Many of us don’t even realize it. The daily rigors of providing the necessities and a happy life for ourselves and families push painful thoughts of children of abuse to the far corners of our mind. What follows here are some hard to face facts. Many of which we never consider.

According to Childwelfare.gov, a service of the Children’s Bureau of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, each week child protective services agencies across the USA receive more than 50,000 reports of child neglect or abuse. In 2003, there were reports involving 5.5 million children. It is startling that 906,000, almost one-million children, were found to have been the victim of abuse or neglect. The most astonishing fact is that nearly 1,500 children, 44-percent being one-year-old or younger, died in 2003, the victims of abuse or neglect.

Certainly, the perpetrators of child abuse and neglect in their many forms are criminals; however, this particular group of crimes is different than any other. Unlike the adult victims of a robbery, car theft, even an assault, the child victim’s life is forever altered. As abuse is most often perpetrated by a family member or another person close to the family, the moment of the first incident is the life-changing moment. In an instant, innocence, trust and childhood are gone, forever.

From the first instance of abuse, the abused child may suffer social deficiencies, fall behind in school, or become involved in criminal behavior. The child gets to look forward to an adulthood in which the likelihood of drug abuse and incarceration is more likely to occur. The abused or neglected child is more likely to continue the cycle by committing the same crimes against his or her own children. Although the severity of the abuse and the age of the child have a great deal to do with the long-term effects, in every instance, the negative consequences are immediate. Without proper intervention from social service professionals, teachers, psychological counselors, and law enforcement personnel when required, much of the emotional and psychological damage will never be repaired.

Involvement from each member of a community is imperative to stopping this epidemic. That does not simply mean that people should keep an eye out for battered children; it means much more. People should learn to recognize the many symptoms that abused children may exhibit. They should also learn the patterns of behavior demonstrated by abusive parents. When a person, educated in the symptoms of abuse and neglect, sees those symptoms in conjunction with one another, they should feel confident in contacting a social service agency. It is important to remember that even though a concerned friend or neighbor may contact appropriate agencies, it is the agencies who make the final call on whether abuse is occurring or has occurred. It is not the responsibility of the person who initially voiced concern. That should make everyone feel better and not feel as if they are “meddling” when reporting suspected abuse.

Regarding the 2003 figures, of those people reporting suspected incidents of child abuse, over 50 percent were parents, neighbors, friends, anonymous sources and other, non-professional people. Concerned people who were not afraid to get involved and save the life and future of an innocent, vulnerable child.

If you want to learn more and change the future of one child and generations to come, visit www.childwelfare.gov. There is a wealth of information from identification of abuse to where to report instances. At least give them a look.

Alan Hammond is a criminal justice professional, writer and former educator. He can be reached in care of this publication or at ashwriting@insightbb.com.

No part of this article may be copied or reproduced in any form without the express permission of More4Kids Inc © 2007 All Rights Reserved