by Stephanie Partridge

What is Your Teen being Exposed To? This is the first in a series on social networking sites.  These sites have become so popular, so prevalent with teens flocking to them that this is very relevant – and it is going to take more than just one post to address all that needs to be addressed on this subject.

Social Networks are really hot right now.  Teens are spending a great deal of time on sites like MySpace, Facebook and others.  But just what are your teens being exposed to when they log onto their Facebook profile or MySpace profile?

The answers are alarming.

While social network sites do have merit, they allow people from all over the world to connect.  Kids can connect with friends and family who live far away.  They can socialize and keep in touch with friends, share pictures, music and videos and play fun games.

They can connect with the Smithsonian, National Geographic, Discovery Channel and many other wholesome organizations, businesses and individuals.  They have access to great, educational material.  They can learn, they can grow, they can see parts of the world and other cultures that they may never have a chance to see otherwise.

But there is a dark side to social networks.  This is something that every parent with a social network surfing teen should know.

Before we venture down this dark path, I want to make one thing clear.  I am talking about Facebook a lot here, pointing out some of the dangers that exist there.  I do this for two reasons.  1.  Facebook is the largest, most popular social networking site, and 2. Facebook is the site that I belong to.

The things I discuss here are things that I found doing very simple searches on the site.  You can see the same things (and I encourage parents to search the social network sites – and other websites – that their children are visiting) if you log onto the site and use the search engine within the site.  For instance, if you log onto Facebook, type a keyword in the search box in the upper right hand corner and click the button next to the box to begin the search.  Use keywords like sex, drugs, murder and any other word that would be something that you don’t want your child to see.  The things that come up will surprise you.

Here is what I have found.

Not long ago I was reading the “Express,” a publication put out by the Washington Post, handed out to morning commuters on the subway here in DC.  There was a story in there about a poll that was published online about assassinating President Obama.  The website that this poll was found on?  Facebook.   Now, as soon as they found out about it, Facebook administrators removed the poll, but, wow, it was up there for all the world to see for at least a while, meaning that my kids (or yours) could stumble upon it at any time – or any other questionable content that the administrators haven’t yet caught.

MySpace has become inundated with “profiles” that lead to porn sites.  But I have moved away from this site, mainly because of the large amount of spam that is circulated on there that leads to scammer profiles and profiles that lead to porn sites.  Facebook has become my social network of choice.  My kids are on there and they encouraged me to join as well.  It also allows me to keep an eye on what my kids do, what they post and what they have access to on there.

What I have found is terrifying.

A week or so ago I was looking at the quizzes on Facebook and ran across one that had a sexually explicit title – and accompanying photograph to match.  There is also an application on Facebook, Sex Games.  Its description:  “Sex Games is a tongue-in-cheek multiplayer game where you work with an Entourage to prove your skills in the Club. Complete sexual conquests and pick up all the hottest players on Facebook. See how sexy you really are…”  Also, “What’s Your Sex Style?” “Daily Sex Chance,” “Today’s Sex Partner” (description:  “Share the love among your friends! Pick a random friend to be your "Sex partner of the day". Grab a new friend every day, and spread the love.”) and even “Do You Want to Have Sex?”  These applications have no controls or filters to keep underage children out so your kids have full access to the application content, the graphic, sexually explicit language that I found posted to the application profile and the graphic photos, bordering on pornographic, that I saw on members’ profiles.

Another application, names “Sex or Murder” shows users a series of photos and their quest is to decide if the photos show someone in a sexual act or someone being murdered.  Also a “fun” quiz about finding out if you have the ability to take another person’s life is called, “Are You Capable of Murder?”  I also found several pages of applications that allow users to send virtual drugs to their friends.  One application, titled “Drugs,” sports the tag line, “All kinds of fun drugs to do with your friends!”

In all fairness, Facebook does have terms of service that prohibit this type of activity, photos and content, but the problem is that the network is so large it is nearly impossible to police the site.  There are links on each profile that allow visitors to block or report the profile for TOS violations, but even that is dependent upon the diligence of Facebook users to actually find the offensive content and make the reports.

This has just been a report, my personal essay of sorts to tell you what I found.  I urge you to look for yourself.  In another installation I will tell you what experts say we, as parents, should do to protect our children.

My next installment will tell parents what they can do to protect their children.  How do you know when your child is mature enough to handle being on the internet without supervision?  I will interview several experts on the subject and give you some answers.

Biography
Stephanie Partridge is a freelance writer and photographer as well as a FOIA analyst for a federal agency in Washington, D.C. She is a single mom to Jeffery, 19; Micah Elizabeth, 17 and Benjamin, 15. She is also the author of the ebook, “Diet is a Dirty Word.”

No part of this article may be copied or reproduced in any form without the express permission of More4Kids Inc © and All Rights Reserved

The story is unfortunately all too common. A 13 year old boy commits suicide after a cyberbully torments him relentlessly. An 18 year old girl kills herself after a "sexting" incident that put nude photos of her, meant only for her boyfriend, in the hands of many other people, some in the very school she attended. It seems to be reaching epidemic proportions, cyberbullying and sexting. It seems that the online world has gone out of control, populated with perverts and bullies. So, how can parents keep their children safe without taking the internet away from them completely? What can a parent do to protect their children from what at times is a very cruel world?

So, what can parents do to protect their children from cyberbullies and prevent them from sexting? Well, you could take away cell phones and set the parental controls on the internet so that the only page they can access is Disney.com, but that isn't very realistic. Also, when you get right down to it, you can't spend your life shielding your children from things that may hurt them. If you do, you are doing them a great disservice. The best thing that you can do is teach them how to protect themselves and how to make smart, sound decisions.

Cyberbullying: Know the Signs

Of course, things will still happen and your child may become a victim regardless of what you teach them. It is important to know the warning signs so that you can tell when something is wrong. Laying a good foundation of open communication with your child is a good start and will help you pick up on the warning signs early. The signs may be subtle and barely discernible.

A child who is the victim of a cyberbully often feels embarrassed. They may be afraid that you will overreact and to postal on their tormentor which could, they fear, make things worse. They may fear that you will pull the plug on their internet, limiting their activities and restricting their use of cell phones and internet. In short, they aren't likely to tell you if they are being bullied. This means that you have to be on your toes and paying attention. These warning signs will help to tip you off:

• After using the computer or cell phone, your child seems angry, agitated, sad or upset.
• Your child begins to withdraw from friends and stops doing activities that they once enjoyed.
• Problems at school arise, from declining grades to behavior problems. A child who once loved school may suddenly hate it.

• Changes in sleeping patterns or appetite. Your child may begin sleeping more than usual or become an insomniac. They may begin eating voraciously or suddenly decrease the amount that they eat.
• Physical appearance such as sudden weight gain or weight loss (from appetite changes), cuts on the arms or legs (known as "cutting" – a self mutilating practice that stems from depression and stress) and signs that your child may be using drugs or alcohol (a way of "self medicating" to ease the pain of the torment)

• Symptoms of depression that may appear suddenly or sporadically.

Take Action

When you witness these warning signs, try talking with your child to find out what is going on. Let them know that you care and are concerned about their welfare. Reassure them that you do not intend to take away their computer or cell phone, do anything to make matters worse or restrict their activities in an effort to protect them. Let them know that you just want to help. If your child reveals to you that they are the victim of a cyberbully, you and your child need to work together to stop the harassment. By engaging your child in the process, you are not only empowering them to fight against the abuse, you are also sending them a strong, positive message that you believe they are strong enough to fight.

• Print out any messages, emails, online posting, etc. Try to show as much information as possible, regarding date, time, the person who wrote it and the IP address if possible

• Save text messages and voicemails.

• Try to identify the cyberbully, but be aware that quite often, it is more than one person doing the harassing. There may be one ringleader, so to speak, but there are usually several people involved.

• Tell the cyberbully to stop harassing your child.

• Find out the bully's internet service provider and cell phone provider and file formal complaints. It may be a little tough to file a complaint with the cell phone service provider if the bully has a pay-as-you-go phone and is not on a regular plan.
• If you know the identity of the cyberbully and they are a child, contact their parents. Send a certified letter detailing the harassment. Include copies of the proof that you gathered and inform them that if the behavior does not stop immediately you will take legal action.
• If the cyberbullying is occurring at your child's school, or someone from your child's school is the perpetrator, contact the school and inform them of the activity so that they can take protective measures to protect your child and stop the bullying.
• If the bullying contains threats of physical harm, are of a sexual nature from a sexual predator or violate any laws, contact the police immediately. In some states, the stalking laws define stalking as an activity that makes a person fearful for their own welfare. Look up the laws in your state to see if the bullying can actually be placed in the stalking category and you can protect your child under those laws.

The National Center for Victims of Crime has an extensive website, Stalking Resource Center. There are many tips, resources, products, newsletters and information that can prove very helpful in dealing with cyberbullies. You can even look up the internet laws in your state regarding stalking and harassment. Of course, the number one thing you can do to protect your child from a cyberbully, is to talk to them. Educate them, empower them and keep an open door policy so that they feel comfortable coming to you with anything. Be a parent, but also be a friend so that you can tackle issues like this together.

No part of this article may be copied or reproduced in any form without the express permission of More4Kids Inc © 2010 All Rights Reserved

by Jennifer Shakeel
While the internet is a beautiful thing it is also a very dangerous thing, especially to our children. For years we as parents have feared the online predator, that could pose as a child and lure our children away from us and do terrible things to them. Today, our fear is not just of strangers… but of people that we know or at least know our children. I am talking about cyber bullies, who taunt our children online and on their cell phones. Technology has provided bullies a new way to get at our children, and we as parents need to stay on top of what is taking place to help protect our children.

Parental Control
I am sorry, but I don’t think young children need to text message. I am not even completely sure they need cell phones… really what does a 10 year old need a cell phone for? Our oldest daughter has a cell phone, she got it in 7th grade. The reason was that she was very active in school activities and so was our son. It was difficult to be in two places at once, so she needed a way to get a hold of me when her practice was complete and I was at our son’s practice. One thing I did not allow though was texting. It is not a part of our plan. She cannot receive them or send them. I don’t care that all her friends can text and that she has to tell them she can’t, I would rather be embarrassed then hurt.

Be An Apparent Parent
Your child does not need you to be their best friend. They need you to be their parent. You can still be seen as cool and enforce restrictions on what they are doing online and on their phones. On our family computer we have a logging system that runs in stealth and records everything everyone does on the computer and it does not allow you to visit websites of questionable nature unless my husband or I okay the site. The laptops are checked daily, especially after our children have used them… and they are not allowed to be online if my husband or I are not in the room. Yes, I read their emails and I check the internet history to see where they have been and what they have been searching for. And they know that we check because they have been caught doing things they are not suppose to do.

Monitor Online Activity
There are many programs that you can download onto your computer or your child’s computer that will track what they do online. It will log passwords and login names. You don’t have to sit and look over their shoulders while they are online, but you should be paying attention to what they are doing and who is saying what to them.

Listen
We tell our children all the time to listen to us. When do we listen to them? Listen when they talk about school, their friends, things that are happening at school, things that are going on with their friends… listen when they are on the phone. Oh I know you are cringing, but how much will you cringe when your child is a victim of sexting? What will you do after your child has been bullied on the phone? They don’t have to talk in the same room as you, but be close enough to where you can atleast overhear what is being sad.

Lock Social Sites
I understand that it is all the craze for teenagers to have a MySpace page, or a Facebook Page… I urge you to spend some time on those sites before you let them create “their” space. They may have a page and you don’t even know it. If they are minors as a parent you can place a lock on their page that makes it so that the only way a person can visit their page or contact them is for that person to be approved as a friend. Know who their friends are on these places.

Talk to Your Kids
It disturbs me how many parents don’t talk to their kids, they talk at them. Carry a conversation with them. Listen to them, talk to them. Let them know that they can talk to you. Yes, there are going to be times that they are going to say something to you that is going to make want to put your head in a pillow and scream, but listen to them. There are times that our daughter says things to my husband and I, that she would say if one of her friends were around… that I look at my husband and go, “Does she know we are her parents?” To which he smiles and says yes. Her friends talk to us because there isn’t a threat. We will listen to them, and talk to them like they are humans.

Teach Your Child to Stand Up For Themselves
It doesn’t matter if it is their best friend giving them a hard time or some punk kid wanting to ruin their day. Teach your children that they need to stand up for themselves. That no one has the right to say bad things about them or do things to them that makes your child uncomfortable. Your child must value who they are, they need to know that it is not okay to let someone walk all over them.

As a parent and someone who spends a lot of time online for my job, I know and understand the importance of teaching internet safety to our kids. In this guide, I will be sharing with you some basic lessons that should be shared with your child. In today’s world, our children are heavily dependent on technology, such as the internet, in order to communicate with others, conduct research, and even to assist them in their educational endeavors. As parents, it is inappropriate to keep this type of technology from our children as it is an integrated part of our world as a whole. This is why teaching internet safety is the responsibility that we should take.

Cyber Citizenship

Cyber citizenship is one of the first steps in teaching internet safety to our kids. The internet is much like a community that we live, work, and play in. Children must understand this. People may not “live” online, but it is a place where many work, and many play. You should start by defining the role of a basic community and then compare it to the concept of “Cyberspace”. While Cyberspace is actually considered an abstract idea as it relates to community, it is a community nonetheless. The places that we visit while online are much like the places that we visit in our physical community. These places include the library, various types of stores, and even museums! By comparing the “websites” that we find online to real places we find in our communities, it gives your child a sense of community. 

Now, we it is important to express upon your child that all of the places that we can visit online are typically “open”, and that there are “roads” that help us get to these places much like the way that we travel to real places in the community. Children all know that they are too young to navigate themselves on roads in the real community. The adults in their lives drive them from one location to another. The same goes for the internet “Superhighway” online. It is important to have adults available to navigate children through the roads, and highways when they are online. Adult presence and assistance online is the first step to internet safety.

The next thing that you need to impress upon your children is how to get help if they get “lost” in the cyber community. In the physical community, we teach our children that if they get lost or need help to contact an adult that they feel as if they can trust, like a teacher and/or police officer. When children are in the cyber community, they must have the same rules as the physical community that they live in. If they get lost, or need help, they need to understand to call upon the assistance of an adult. Getting lost may include ending up in areas online that are inappropriate. Needing help may include situations in which other internet users make them feel uncomfortable by the actions that they engage in online, or the things that they say to your child.

Personal Safety

Just as in the physical community, children need to be aware that they should focus on their personal safety in the cyber community. Children should understand that, even online, there are “strangers”. They should understand that strangers in the cyber community may try to do things to trick them into revealing personal information about themselves and those that they love and care about. They should be taught:

1. Children should never provide any type of personal information to people that they communicate with, or play with in the online environment. This includes information like their name, age, birthday, address, the name of their city, the name of their school, their telephone number, and similar types of information.

2. Children should never provide a picture of themselves while online. While it is important to create a sense of personalization while in a community, this can be done with avatars, and other types of pictures online.

3. Children should never agree to meet up with someone that they have met on the internet. This type of situation has resulted in the injury and deaths of several children in the world.

4. If children come across information that they feel uncomfortable with, they should be informed that it has to be reported to their parents immediately, or another trusted adults. This may include pictures, stories, websites, and any other type of information that makes them feel as if they could be sick, or feel “weird” or they consider “grown up”, or “uncool”.

5. Children should be issued rules that help them to navigate in areas that are appropriate for their age group.

If you implement the use of these strategies when teaching kids internet safety, you will find that your children will have a better understanding of the online community, the rules that govern it, and the means to stay safe while online.

If you have a teenager between the ages of 13 and 17, chances are very good that they have at least one profile on MySpace, Facebook, Friendster, Xanga or one of the other popular social networks. After all, a 2006 study conducted by Cox Communications and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) approximately 61% of teenagers, ages 13 to 17 years old have a personal profile on one of the social networking sites. Of this group, older teens, age 16 and 17, and girls make up for most of the social networking profile holders. So if your teenager has a space on MySpace, there are a few things that you, as a parent, should know and do to keep your child safe.

Chilling Facts on Teen Internet Usage and Perception

First, let's get the scary stuff out of the way. These statistics come from the study done by Cox Communication and NCMEC and they give us a chilling glimpse into what our children are facing in today's online world.

• While approximately 61% of children, ages 13 to 17, have a personal profile on one or more of the social networking sites, more than half of them have also posted a photo of themselves online.
• 71% of teenagers surveyed reported that they had received online messages from people they did not know and 45% said that they had been asked for personal information by someone they did not know.
• 30% of teenagers surveyed reported that they had considered meeting someone that they had only communicated with online while 14% of teenagers reported that they had actually met a person face to face whom they had only communicated with online. This included 9% of 13 to 15 year olds and 22% of 16 to 17 year olds.
• When asked if they would chat online with someone they did not know if that person sent them a message, 40% of the teenagers reported that they would usually reply and chat with that person.
• 18% of teenagers surveyed reported that they would tell an adult if someone they did not know contacted them.

Many teenagers do not seem to feel that the internet can pose any type of threat. 20% stated that it was "very safe" or "somewhat safe" to share personal information online while 37% said that they were "not very concerned" or "not at all concerned" about someone getting their personal information that they posted online and using it in ways that they do not want.

What can Parents Do?

Parents can take an active part in their children's online activity. While forbidding internet usage may seem like a good option, it is not a very viable one. Internet access is too easily obtained these days, from friends' homes to public libraries to computer labs at school make it very easy for your child to access the internet outside of your home. Also, don't fool yourself by thinking that your child would not defy your rules, more likely than not, they will. It has nothing to do with your parenting skills or whether they are "good" or "bad" kids, it's just kids. The forbidden fruit is always sweetest so when you say no, they see something very cool and tempting.

So, what can parents do? Talk to your kids. Get involved. 33% of children, ages 13 to 17, said that their parents know "nothing" or "very little" about their online activities and 22% reported that their parents had never talked with them about internet safety.

Studies show that teens whose parents talk to them "a lot" about internet safety are less likely to post pictures of themselves or use their real name that children whose parents have not talked to them. They are also more likely to ignore messages from people they don't know as well as refuse to chat, block senders that they don't know and report such occurrences to their parents or to a trusted adult.

All it takes is a few minutes of discussion and regular follow up. You feed your children, send them to school, make sure that they have the things that they need, make sure that they know how to protect themselves when they are online. You can even take it another step and get your own profile. This way, you can visit their profile, monitor what they are posting and interact with them on their own turf.

When it comes down to it, social networks like MySpace, Friendster, Face book and others have replaced the telephone. Teens will check their profiles a couple of times a day. It is their lifelink to their peers and a way for them to communicate with their friends. Taking it away would, in a sense be isolating your child from a social support system that can be beneficial to them – as long as they use it wisely and safely. It is really no different from allowing your child to ride their bike to a friend's home or drive your car to the library. Internet is the new telephone.

No part of this article may be copied or reproduced in any form without the express permission of More4Kids Inc. Article copyright © 2008 All Rights Reserved.

Kids are vulnerable. Kids are curious. And Kids will do anything you allow them to get away with, and will continue until someone puts their foot down!

What about a child's privacy? Many parents sometimes say, “I don’t like to violate my child’s privacy.” Alternatively, they might believe, stuff like that only happens to someone else’s child.

Are you this type of parent? Do you have these types of children? Well if you are and are dealing with curious and vulnerable children, listen up, because I will take on a journey through reality whilst showing you how to avoid online dangers by providing your child safety. 

Two parents ventured to believe that other children rather than their own were subject to violence, rape, murder, etc. The parents allowed their vulnerable child to visit the Worldwide Web without educating the child of the dangers. One night, after coming home from a dinner party, they discovered their child was gone. The parents called all the child’s friends, but none of the children or their families had heard from the child. They then began to panic. The parents phoned the police, which the response was; you need to report back in 24-hours. The police will not start a manhunt in most areas until 24-hours have ended.

Since the police, waste time believing the child has run away, and the parents have no power, this child has reached the level of danger that could include death.

Guess what, 24-hours go by and still no sign of the child. The parents dreadfully expect the worst, and wonder why they didn’t teach their child about the dangers online. Why didn’t we take the time to monitor our children? What could we have done to avoid this dilemma?

After the 24-hours, the police go on a hunt to find a missing child. The police discover the child frequents the computer unattended. The police confiscate the computer to learn about the child’s behavior. In the log, system of the computer lays some powerful confusion. The child has frequent chat rooms, porno sites, forums, boards, and has sent repeated e-mails to one particular person of interest. The e-mails after reading them, the police determine a predator has snagged this child, by using his cunning ways to lure the child into danger.

The parents now aware, wondering why my child? Why didn’t I do this…why didn’t I do that…and the beaten down of self-goes on. 

Two weeks pass and an article comes available in the local newspaper, which reads…Child found, dead near the Blank River. The child was molested and then beaten to death.

This can’t happen to my child. Yes, it can!

The how to is obvious if you think about this story carefully, thus you can see that unrealistic thinkers are often the ones that land in harms way. Do not leave room for “it can’t happen to me,” because it can, and has happen to many people who think just this way.

If the parents of this hypothesis (based on actual stories), would have educated their child, educated them self, monitored their child’s behavior and communicated with the child…would this had happen? The ultimate how to, is putting your foot down and making sure your child is safe.

None of us can watch our children around the clock. However, educating the child and teaching the children morals, values, and standards is a surefire way to helping them avoid dangers, since you are the example these children will follow. Therefore, you practice what you preach and uphold goodness, and guess whose little feet will trail behind you? The dangers presented online can lead to serious problems.

Understanding child safety and online dangers is essential for protecting your children. If you have an understanding of the Internet, you are aware that dangers lurk in nearly every corner. The Internet is a growing roadway that links people together through a network. The logic of learning the Internet is part of teaching your child how to miss online dangers, and some of that information will include where children visit online. What types of dangers are online? How can you protect your child from these dangers? What does the Internet offer to children? Why are the children interested in a virtual reality platform?

Where Children Visit Online
Children will often frequent the Internet, visiting Chat Rooms, Bulletin Boards, Websites, Web Browsers, Search Engines, and will use e-mails to correspond with friends.

Types of Dangers Online
The dangers online include codes that attach your computer, Viruses, Trojans, Worms, Spyware, Shareware, Adware, and so forth. Still, these dangers can harm your computer, but other dangers can cost your child’s life. Some of the other types of predators online, include pedophiles, serial rapist/killers, hackers, child pornographers, and so forth.

How to protect your child
Informing your child is the ultimate solution while protecting your child. The Internet is a highway, therefore similar to teaching your child how to avoid dangers offline, you will teach your child to avoid dangers online. You would not allow your child to play in a major highway, or a highway period, therefore why would you let your child play in traffic online.

What is offered online?
The Internet offers a wealth of information. The information online includes homework help, chatting tools, research information, pornography, and so much more.

What is the tools children use?
Again, children use e-mails, chat rooms, webcams, bulletin boards, message rooms, newsrooms, and more while online. In the rooms are choices, which include uncensored and censored areas.

Usenet newsgroups are peoples joining rooms for discussion over the Internet. The Internet has thousands of diverse Usenet newsgroups and most programs are free to all users. The Usenet was initially set up to provide a source to transmit local news flanked by two institution of higher education in North Carolina. Usenet then is a discussion board where people communicate, and newsgroups means that news is being transmitted from person to person via Internet. The Usenet newsgroup post messages (“called ARTICLES”) to a discussion board and all members then are capable of reading the messages. In order to determine the subject of the articles or to find a specific subject you will need to refer to the “names” such as chat. Grow…Referring to the name chat.

Now, we can deduce that we are going into a chat area that intends go grow into a large newsgroup. In order to get on board in most cases you will need to set up a username, password and provide some personal information. Since Usenet, newsgroups are set up in Hierarchies we need to consider using two different hierarchies. By setting up a username and password, you will be allowed to enter the Usenet newsgroup boards.

The Usenet newsgroups are categorized into what are known as Hierarchies…In segments the hierarchies are broken down. For instance, the primary hierarchy is the name itself (chat), which means chat hierarchy contains newsgroups in which users talk about Usenet, and the second hierarchy “grow” is for disputing. The uncensored boards are where groups join to share pictures, and often these pictures are of adult content. As you can see, understanding censored and uncensored since many uncensored chatting goes on in newsgroups, it is important while teaching your child and helping your child avoid online dangers.

by Michelle Donaghey

They are waiting to be your child’s best friend and confidant, knowing what to say and how to say it whether you realize they are there or not. While you may think they are, not all are old men with long baggy coats either. They can be young , married or of the opposite sex they claim to be. If you met them on the street, you might not even think twice about them. Some may even be teachers , coaches or preachers in your community.
On-line predators do not fit a mold. Often pedophiles pretend to be a friend who is the same age of the child. At first, he or she might talk to your child over several nights or weeks in order to become closer to them. Eventually the conversation might move into sexual topics. Eventually the pedophile posing as a child may ask where your daughter or son lives, goes to school and his or her phone number. Sometimes he or she may try to set up a face-to-face.
“Not ever online adventure is a pleasant one,” notes the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children’s website where true stories are given how children had been lured into dangerous situations by such dangerous people online. In fact, One in every five kids who uses the Internet is sexually solicited online says the NCMEC.
One of the youngest children in the true stories was 8 years old. A convicted sex offender had planned to meet her and her mother in Scotland traveling from the United States. Upon arrival, he was denied entry because of identifying information that was passed by the National Center for Mission and Exploited Children to the New Scotland Yard’s Pedophile Unit. While he was on his way home, authorities executed a search of his home and seized his computer, magazines, a video camera and videotapes. They not only found child pornography but email correspondence between the subject and other young people.
In Los Angeles a 44, year old man was arrested on suspicion of using Internet chat rooms to meet and molest young children. A South Florida man who identified himself as a firefighter in an Internet chat room was arrested after he allegedly tried to lure children.
While all of these stories are plenty to scare any parent, how do you protect your child without being a overly anxious parent?
The NCMEC has some suggestions for parents that are simple that can help keep you informed about what your children are doing while keeping them safe:

1. “Establish guidelines and rules” and “know who communicates with your children” notes the NCMEC. The FBI also suggests that if you suspect anything that you “talk opening with your child about your suspicions. Tell them about the dangers of computer sex-offenders.” If you still feel that you don’t know enough “review what is on your child’s computer” adds the FBI.
2. “Learn about the internet” also suggests the FBI. You should make sure you understand what programs and websites your child is visiting regularly whether it takes time out of your schedule or not.
   Monitoring programs such as one at http://www.more4kids.info/?parenting-control-software can be helpful.
3. Don’t be tempted to put a computer in a child’s room where he or she can have unlimited access either. “Place the family’s computer in a common room where supervision and guidelines are met,” urges the FBI.
4. While you may think that limiting your child’s time on the internet will help, it isn’t enough. “Talking about the benefits and dangers and making sure that your children are making smart decisions online is also important,” they add. 
5. Children should be told that the Instant Messenger should ONLY be used for chatting with “school and family friends” notes the FBI who also notes that “65% of incidents happen in chatrooms.”

“Computer sex offenders may also be evaluating children they come in contact with on-line for future face-to-face contact and direct victimization” notes the FBI.
If your child has ever received child pornography, been sexually solicited or received sexually explicit images from someone who knows your child is under 18, “keep the computer turned off in order to preserve evidence” and contact your local or sate law enforcement agency, the FBI and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children,” notes the FBI.
Four other ways to keep kids safe!

1. Know your Instant Message and Chatroom abbreviations!
   Most parents don’t know what those capital letter and number abbreviations kids are using when they are online chat with their friends. Do you know that A/S/L? means age, sex, location? Do you also know that 143 means “I Love You” or that anything starting with a “P” can reference parents. PA is “parent alert”, PAW is “parents are watching”, PANB means “parents are nearby”, and POS is “parent over shoulder.” In fact ninety-five percent of parents can’t “identify common chat room lingo that teenagers use to warn people they’re chatting with that their parents are watching.” according to Ketchum Global Research Network, Parents’ Internet Monitoring Study(National Center for Missing & Exploited Children and Cox Communications, 2005).
   Learning chat abbreviations can help you to monitor your child and can also open communication concerning chat and chat rooms. A good website to visit to get a list of chat abbreviations is http://www.missingkids.com/adcouncil/pdf/lingo/onlinelingo.pdf#search='chat%20abbreviations' .
2. Have an agreement!
   Parents should also have their child sign an Agreement To Abide by the Rules and post the agreement and the rules near the computer. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (1997) offers the following as appropriate rules:
   I will not give out personal information such as my address, telephone number, parent's work address/telephone number, or the name of my school without my parent's permission.
   I will tell my parents right away if I come across any information that makes me feel uncomfortable.
   I will never agree to get together with someone I "meet" online without first checking with my parents. If my parents agree to the meeting, I will be sure that it is in a public place and bring my mother or father along.
   I will never send a person my picture or anything else without first checking with my parents.
3. Educate! Make sure your child understands even at a young age!
   While you may not think it is that important that you educate your child on the dangers on the internet, you should actually start teaching them before they enter kindergarten when they know that they have special and private parts of their body. You should explain to them that not only touching but exposing and talking about these parts is special and private.
   Be sure to teach them not to give out any personal information!. Often especially younger children think that their address, telephone numbers and their parent's names and other information is worth repeating as it often gets them positive attention. Explain to them that they can give it friends at school, police officers if they are lost, or paramedics if they are hurt but NEVER to give their full name, telephone number, name of school or address on the internet! . Explain to them that people who say they are good on the internet may not be good people in real life.
   Children should also be told to not open email messages without a parent present (unless it is from a trusted family member!) and to always tell their parents if they see anything that makes them feel uncomfortable online.
4. Give positive attention and feedback!
   No matter what age your child is, make sure that they get plenty of positive attention at home. Talk to them and take time out to actually listen! Often children who become victims are those who feel isolated, lonely, and unworthy. By spending time with them you will get to know your child and their inner feelings.

Biography 
Michelle Donaghey is a freelance writer and mother of two boys, Chris and Patrick, who are her inspiration. She lives in Bremen, Indiana just south of South Bend, home of Notre Dame. When she isn’t writing, Michelle can be found in her perennial flower garden or working on small home improvement projects. She has written for parenting publications including Metro Kids, Atlanta Parent,Dallas Child, Great Lakes Family, Family Times and Space Coast Parent and websites including iparenting.com.

No part of this article may be copied or reproduced in any form without the express permission of More4Kids Inc © 2006

"Without Internet Monitoring Software & Parental Control Software, You'll Never Know What They Do Online!"

By Alan and Shonna Hammond

Suffocation is the fourth leading cause of unintentional child death. Not “intentional” suffocation as with homicide, but accidental, unexpected death by suffocation. Most people can imagine the horror of going into your infant or child’s room in the morning and finding the little one lifeless. It is a very real occurrence, but also one that is preventable.

According to a study conducted by the National Center for Child Death Review, most unintentional suffocation occurs due to the following factors:   

• Overlay: When a person with whom the child is sleeping rolls onto and smothers the child
• Positional asphyxia: A child’s face becomes trapped in soft bedding or wedged into a tight place, as between a mattress and wall
• Covering of the face or chest: When an object prevents the child from breathing by covering the mouth or compressing the chest, e.g., plastic bags, heavy bedding or furniture
• Choking: When a child chokes on an object such as food or a small toy
• Confinement: When a child becomes trapped in an airtight place such as a refrigerator or toy chest
• Strangulation: When a rope, cord, hands or other object strangles a child

As you can see, the good news is most, if not all, of these factors are preventable.

Sleeping with children can be seen as a period of parent-child bonding; a time of closeness. But the risk factors outweigh the benefits when armed with the knowledge that parents can unintentionally suffocate their child. An alternative, if having the child in the room with the parent’s is the goal, would be to have the child sleep in a safe crib or child bed beside the parent’s bed.

It is so very cute to see the child sleeping peacefully among the stuffed animals, fluffy pillows and toys. Here again, however, the risks far exceed the gratification experienced by parents. Even with toddlers, who have gained some strength and ability to get themselves out of a tight spot, the same risk is present as with an infant. Even though a toddler will protest when the stuffed animals are taken away at bedtime, it is in their best interest. Parents, grandparents and care givers must be persistent and not indulge the child’s pleadings. Their young lives depend on it.

In the same fashion, fluffy pillows and comforters provide what adults see as an ideal sleeping atmosphere. That may be true for an adult, but it is no doubt deadly for children. Infants are particularly at risk of asphyxiation with bedding that is too soft. Likewise, comforters that are too heavy place a child at risk in the event that their face becomes covered. The increased activity from infant to toddler may be a blessing in some ways, but the increased activity can cause the child to become entangled in bedding that is not age appropriate.

Toddlers and preschool aged children are those most at risk for choking and strangulation. Their increased activity puts them at risk of choking on food or small objects, such as deflated balloons and parts from toys, as well as becoming strangled by window blind cords, rope or other objects. Clothing with drawstrings should be avoided, too. Thankfully, clothing with drawstrings is difficult to find, but some coats and jackets continue to use them.

Manufacturers of everything from toys to window blinds to clothing have recognized the danger in their products. This has likely occurred due to their bottom line having been impacted by concerned parents and advocacy groups refusing to buy their products. Diligence can bring about needed change on both a large and small scale. It first begins in the home. Win that battle and then on to bigger things.

by Stacey Schifferdecker

Social networking sites are the newest and hottest thing on the internet, and even if you’ve never heard of them, chances are your tween or teen has. MySpace and Facebook are the most popular sites, but Wikipedia actually lists over 100 social networking sites catering to all types of interests.

Social networking sites are intended to give teens and adults a chance to meet new people who share their interests. Basically, they work like this:

1. You join the site and create an online profile.
2. You invite your friends to join and link your profiles as part of a “network.”
3. You join “communities” on the site based on your interests, and you meet more people to add to your network.

Your network grows quickly because people in your friends’ networks automatically become part of your network too.

Sounds good — so why should parents be concerned about social networking sites? Well, consider that at least seven non-violent sexual assaults on minors have been traced to social networking sites. Yes, social networking sites are definitely something for parents to be concerned about. What can you do to keep your kids safe on these sites?

The first thing you should do is keep your tweens and younger teens off these sites. Most sites require users be at least 14 years of age, but many users lie about their ages. Don’t allow your children to set up a site until they are old enough. On most social networking sites, you can search for profiles by name or email address, so you might want to check once in a while to see if your child has set up a site. If you do find they have set up a site, you can have it deleted.

Once your child is old enough and wants to create an online profile, visit a few sites to check out their safety policies and see which site you are most comfortable with. Remember that these sites are largely uncensored. On MySpace, for example, only hate speech and extreme nudity are censored.

Next, you should talk with your children to make sure they are responsible enough in your eyes to handle a social networking site. This means they

• Agree to follow basic internet safety rules, such as not revealing their name, address, and phone number and never meeting anyone in person they have met online. 
• Agree to let you see their site anytime you request. If they protest that you are invading their privacy, remind them that this is a public site. You aren’t invading their privacy if everyone with internet access can see their site.
• Understand that people online are not necessarily who they say they are. 
• Understand their sites are public and they should never post anything they don’t want everyone from their grandmother to their school principal, college recruiter, and future boss to see.
• Keep their sites private and password-protected so only allowed friends can see it. (On most networking sites, profiles for minors are automatically kept private, but users can still send them email.)

Once your kids have set up their sites, visit it regularly to make sure they are behaving safely. You should also check your children’s friends’ sites—to make sure they aren’t accidentally revealing any personal or inappropriate information about your child. If they aren’t following the rules—pull their site.